Charlie Sheen is Loco

So we all know the recent troubles surrounding Charlie Sheen. Although he has always been a bit of a loose cannon, in recent months he went from what we may call eccentric to absolutely bat-shit crazy. His completely incoherent and intelligible mutterings in an interview with Katie Couric, where he said, amongst other things, that he was a warlock and that he had tiger blood coursing through his veins, went viral and Sheen went from that guy in that crap sitcom where he played himself to one of the most talked about topics in the world.

Although we all got a laugh out of Charlie's antics, in my opinion he is part of a bigger problem facing celebrities in this day and age. They are treated like demi-gods by the public and their handlers, and when they transgress they are always given second, third, fourth chances. They learn that they don’t have to pay for their crimes, and the worst punishment they can expect when they break the law is to have the news splashed across the pages of Heat, OK! and all the other glossy garbage posing as journalism. This of course leads them to believe they are better than the average person, and invariably leads to more problems. When people are constantly telling you how amazing you are, you eventually start believing it. Charlie Sheen strikes me as a highly intelligent man, but I have no doubt that his ramblings were genuine. He truly believes that he has a brain that no other mortal could handle. He thinks he is an Adonis.

I’m sure we all have grown tired of hearing about Lindsay Lohan’s craziness. Her antics have gained her far more press coverage than her movies in the last few years. But do we ever think about how much she must be suffering? Do we ever take a step back and think, what possesses a young starlet with millions in the bank to pull a Winona and indulge in some casual shoplifting? She could have bought the necklace that she stole with the spare change in her pocket, but she felt compelled to steal it. Is this because she feels she is above the law? Is it a frantic cry for help? Instead of considering these options, we shake our heads and say to ourselves “That Lohan chick is off the bloody rails” and leave it at that. She needs help, and all we gave her is judgement.

We are creating monsters out of our celebrities. And we are creating them younger and younger. Britney Spears was 16 when she burst into the limelight. She lost out on her childhood and lived such a warped version of reality that she now suffers from bipolar disorder. If you ever tune into the shitheap that is E! Hollywood Stories of former child stars, you discover that 90% of them were suffering from drug problems at the same age that the rest of us were suffering from acne problems. We gave these people fame and fortune, and take their sanity as payment. We want our pound of flesh, and we will not leave you alone until we get it. We will camp en masse outside your front door, we will harass you when you go shopping, we will post pics of you without makeup or picking your nose or stumbling out of a club until your debt for our adulation is paid. There is a song by Mos Def in which he raps “Fuck the fame, give me the fortune”. My sentiments exactly Mos. Or Mr Def, whichever you prefer. I would love to have the cash that Mel Gibson has, but to have everyone in the world commenting on something I said when I was drunk? No thanks. It’s bad enough apologising to my girlfriend, never mind the other 6 billion peeps on the planet.

As sad as this state of affairs is, I fear it’s not going to change soon, or ever. We all love reading gossip, and if you say you don’t, you’re a liar. As much as I may criticize Heat, when I see a headline about Amy Winehouse’s latest binge, my ears prick up and I will probably by the magazine to see what Wino’s done now. It’s like a car-crash. You don’t want to look, but you can’t pull away your eyes. The only thing left to do is wait for the next celeb to have a meltdown of gargantuan proportions. My money is on Miley Cyrus